love thyselfie

I hope you all had a fine valentines day, my champagne papis and mamis, and all ur wildest dreams came tru. Capitalising on the spirit of love that I feel in the chill air, I thought I'd look at self love (I think OUTSIDE the BOX) and address all the h8 that selfies get.

Selfie game strong, mental health game weak

A hip abbreviation of 'self portrait', or an unnecessary elongation of 'self'?? Whatever its etymology, it is essentially a photo taken of oneself - usually at half a yard's distance because of our species' embarrassingly short arm span, or in the reflection of a mirror. So when did such a wildly arbitrary thing garner such HATE??

The selfie originated on the myspace, unfortunately v. alien to me because I was not a part of the phenomenon. I do know, however, that it was previously known as the MYSPACE PIC. Its defining feature being that it was taken from a high angle, with either a guitar or weed in hand (depending on whether you were EMO or an aspiring grime artist). The myspace pic was, and still is, kind of lame though because you were in your bedroom with no friends dressing nice for a photo in your mirror. Nevertheless it paved the way for the selfie, pointing towards the inevitability that our generation was to become the most self-absorbed yet.

As we moved on to Facebook in the Millennial's constant struggle to find a place where we truly belong, the myspace pic waned in popularity. We were forced back into taking photos with 'friends' and 'buildings' and 'nature' because society's value consensus is cruel, hates individuality and refused to let me live out my punk rock persona (among other evils, facebook also gave rise to the sharing of MEMES, and so it is with gr8 detestation that I have a profile on my generation's one true outlet).

Selfie was one of Time magazine's 2012 buzzwords. Buzzwords are integral to the fabric of our lives - idk where I'd be without my favourite buzzwords p-zom, lamestreamer and caucasity. Even higher validation came from selfie being chosen by the Oxford Dictionary (our lord and saviour's dictionary of choice) as the word of the year. Although I would say it essentially began on the 29th March, 2013 - the Selfie Wikipedia page began construction, thereby christening it RELEVANT (I did wild research to find this date 4 u). If these endorsements do not convince you to jam ur h8 on selfies, then maybe some COLD, HARD REASONING will convince u.

The selfie does not represent selfishness; rather, it represents self-love. I defo don't think it's narcissism in my opinion. Yes, a huge part of it is the affirmation you receive when you get hella likes and comments, and feel crown; but if all these meaningless likes raise your selfie-esteem then keep doing it. When I post a selfie, u better know I have to take about 50 photos until I arrive at one decent enough to upload. So the fact that I even manage to put one photo of myself up and feel at peace with myself and the transient world I live in is a gr8 feeling - dare I say, selfie-validation. The humble selfie has helped me personally come to the conclusion that I'm NOT ugly, just at certain angles w/ certain lighting arrangements.

And so what if you are a little narcissistic, and getting bare likes on your selfies simply gets you gassed? Do what makes YOU happy with yourself because self gratification is the only meaning of life I'm certain of. As famous philosophers Ayn Rand, Yang Zhu and Will Smith prophesied, our lives' aim is the PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS. So all you selfie haters need to stop denying your ultimate goal - no matter how bad you wish you were born in another decade like the 60's, listening to racist music on smooth vinyls, you are part of a post-millennium generation. You will forever be associated with these selfie-takers u despise and one day, in the year 3000, some bionic boy is going to open up a history book on his holographic Kindle and remember you and your generation as selfie-takers, even though you wasted ur life aggressively trying to disassociate yourself from them. Just embrace the abundance of self love and get with the times. We're in the age of the selfie: dnt b afraid.

we're all the chosen one

Through Wikipedia link hopping (how all great stories begin) I found the page describing the belief that you're the only one with consciousness and everyone else is almost definitely a robot. I made someone cry in primary school when I told her she was a robot and she was programmed to think otherwise but now I don't have to feel bad about it anymore because it has ITS OWN WIKIPEDIA PAGE.

There are two main types: metaphysical (you are a robot), and epistemological (you are a robot AS FAR AS I CAN TELL). I say robot but the actual term for it is 'philosophical zombie' or 'p-zombie' as all the cool millennium kidz say. Isn't SOLIPSISM incredibly selfish though? well YAH. Isn't it kind of stupid? YAH a bit. But can you disprove it? NAH.

SOLIPSISM is really cool because of how irrefutable it is. It sounds crazy I guess but so does the idea of an omnipotent embarrassing dad in the sky which we've taken to be pretty legit over the years. SOLIPSISM could even concur with religion - maybe our life is just one big, individual kobayashi maru programmed by the master computer GOD as an entrance test to the afterlife (James 1:12 - the proof is in the papyrus). The most sneaky thing about it however is that it gives everyone a reason to believe it. According to its postulate, YOU, the person reading this blog post, are the one conscious being and I'M the p-zom!! This is so embarrassing!! I'M the robot! (I struggle with captchas so it's a possibility).

I'd wondered why no one had written more on this decidedly rad meta topic (and why the wikipedia page was so scant of more info) but 'solipsiphers' probably didn't see the point writing for all us p-zoms. A bit unchill and selfish of them. We're all going 2 die 1 day anyway so let's listen to some jams about the inevitability of death.